Dear G, Stop. Just, please, stop. I turned on the TV the other night and saw you plugging yet another project -- a cookbook. We, the public, had such a nice little break from you when you married and had kids and gave them unusual names.
But then you befriended Madonna. Then you launched a Web site which I've heard is irritating. Then, you made a PBS series about Spain with Mario Batali, Mark Bittman and some Spanish actress, in which Bittman and the Spanish actress's segments were far more entertaining, except for the episode where you ate tapas with Michael Stipe. Then you decided to befriend Jay-Z and Faith Hill in the same couple of years and record a country song and show up onstage at every awards show and "Glee" (which, okay, I don't watch but I heard you were on), where you did a cover of that Cee Lo Green song that always gets stuck in my head, alternating from your version to the original version and I can't remember the words, so the same line about "change in my pocket" keeps replaying...aaah! And now, the cookbook.
Gwyneth, stop with the projects. We get it - you are afraid we will forget you. You've done enough in the last six weeks to ensure we never will. Now it's time to go into hiding. Move over and let someone else take the stage, the space in the recording studio, the makeup chair at the photo session, the spot on the red carpet.
Gratefully,
Me
P.S.: Is that belt made of bungee cord?
Hee hee hee! Blog stalker! I just refreshed my Google reader, and you had posted again...and I was happy! And I am in complete agreement with you.
ReplyDeletePLUS, something strange has happened to her face, have you noticed? I can't put my finger on what it is, exactly, but it's no good. She looks severe.
And did I ever tell you about time (years ago) when I said "I like Gwyneth Paltrow, (back in the Sliding Doors days) I think I want to be friends with her." And Angala replied, "She wouldn't be friends with you." That was supposed to be a comment on Gwyneth being a snob, not on me being a loser (I hope!), and it makes me laugh every time I think of it.
AMEN, SISTER! I could not agree more.
ReplyDeleteCompletely agree with you. She is so annoying.
ReplyDelete