Just because they only come every four years...

When NBC began its pre-, pre-, pre-Olympics coverage, I was a little fascinated by swimmer Ryan Lochte. Not so much by him as a person, but by what I heard about his training leading up to this Olympics (that, I should add, earned him an individual gold medal and at least one team gold). His trainer was a former "Strong Man" competitor, as in the Strong Man competition they used to inexplicably always have on the TVs at the so-called sports bar we frequented in college. (I'm pretty sure it was just a looped video, because Lou Ferrigno always seemed to win.) But I digress... Lochte was shown pushing tractor tires down a street and tossing kegs in the air in an effort to bulk up, Strong Man style. I was impressed.

But then I saw his grill.

Then I heard he's been wearing the grill since the 2008 Olympics.

Then I decided he's not only a jackass because he wears a grill designed like the American flag, but a jackass who can't come up with a new idea even given four years to think of something.

Then I saw this guy commentating on NBC yesterday and I wondered if he has considered a new look since the last Olympics. He's still rocking the soul patch-ish thing on his chin:

Does he ever wake up, start to shave it off and then wonder if anyone will not recognize him?

And then there's this guy:

Shaun White has had these lovely, beachy waves for at least the last two winter Olympics, and I just saw him on NBC the other morning. Same 'do as before. Does he make the appointment to get it cut and then think to himself, "But wait, if I cut my hair, no one will confuse me with Carrot Top!"

Time for a makeover. boys. As for Lochte, based on how he comes across in interviews, he might just need a whole new personality.